How will you know if you require therapy or more simply a good chat with a long-standing, trusted friend?
Good friendships can go some way toward dealing with the daily stressors of life. We usually end up feeling better after a good “chin wag.”
However, that good feeling may only be temporary and you can gradually find yourself feeling something deeper inside going on in your body. That may be a feeling of anxiety or depression or a sense of not “fitting in” or even of “not being good enough.” The list can be endless. 
That is usually where therapy can help. It allows you to go to places you would never disclose to friends because of your possible fear of upsetting them or of “becoming too much.” Therapy offers you the opportunity to get to the root cause of what is distressing you, rather than simply listening to the well-intentioned, encouraging cliches of friends who just want to see you in a happier place.
Have you ever heard of some of the following phrases commonly used by others to uplift you:-
“Better days are ahead” v “How can I cope and get through today.”
“You are strong” v “Right now I feel weak and ready to collapse.”
“You can get through this” v “No way....I'm running on an empty tank right now.”
These comments just “don't cut it” do they?
Next time you have an uneasy feeling going on inside you, try listening to your body. It usually has some important information to tell you. Don't be afraid of asking questions.
Ask “Where is that feeling of not fitting in coming from?”
“Why do I always feel not good enough?”
“Why do I suddenly come out in a sweat when I'm outside or with a group of friends?”
Try not to be put off if you don't get instant answers. This is a completely new experience for you and it takes practice to get to where you need to be. Perseverance is really important to getting results and strange as it may seem, you have the answers inside of you, although at this point in time, you may not fully appreciate this.
I will give you an example from my own personal experience. This is the first blog I have ever written. Yes, it's true! I've never done it before!
As I was writing it, my body suddenly felt quite clammy and I heard myself saying “This is rubbish.” “No one will even read it.”
I then thought about where these critical voices were coming from and eventually realised they were linked to my need as a child to be perfect, because I believed that was the way to be accepted by others.
Once I had an understanding of why my body was responding in such a way, I gradually began to feel calmer and more relaxed.
Now I realise I don't need to be perfect. There will be people no doubt, who don't think much of this blog and will simply click on to the next. I'm okay with that.
However, there might just be others who feel it speaks to them about their own situation and that's even better. To me, that's what really matters.......that my message connects from one human being to another.
Take care for now,
John, Counsellor in Dundee